Wednesday, 2 January 2013

colours so bright

A figure stands and watches you,

But you do not feel afraid,

She had a glowing light,

And a gentle friendly face.

Her hair was red,

Her eyes green,

And the rosiest most beautiful skin he had seen.

She glided to the window,

Then gave him a stare,

Come won’t you join me,

Its a beautiful place out there.

Taken aback in complete shock,

The man quivered in his response,

There is nothing there.

He turned away his anger rose,

Go away and leave me alone.

And just like that,

The glow had gone,

The man looked sad to see it go,

Confusing feeling being alone.

Drifting off into sleep,

The usual night mare was obsolete,

Instead wonderful colour was every where.

So bright the lights,

They hurt the poor mans eyes,

Magestical colours like fireworks.


He rubbed his eyes,

In great surprise,

The beautiful figure,

Was back by his side.

Her voice was so soft,

An instant calm washed over the man,

Her magnificent glow,

He wondered in awe,

Who/what are you i need to know.

Without an answer she just said,

I have some thing to show you,

Come on we must go.

She stretch out an arm,

So slinder and thin,

With great trepidation he stretch out his own,

The most warmest of hands he had ever hold.

They took a few steps and magnificent colours hung in the air,

Mists of purple, lilac and pink where floating in the air,

Aluminous colours twinkled in the sky,

Floating in dance he liked how they pranced.

He spoke to the figure,

Without a quiver in his voice,

Why am i here?

She looked him in the eye,

A twinkle so clear,

All will be revealed my dear.


Walk along this path with me,

There is plenty to see,

Down the enchanted path he went with glee.

They came to a meadow,

Filled abundantly with flowers,

Each one had a different colour,

Such a pretty sight to see.

 Life is not back and white with many shades of grey,

Colour is all around you,

In the most beautiful of arrays.

As he woke he felt content,

Was that real he could tell,

He opened up his curtains,

And then he knew for sure,

The brilliant twinkling lights were still at his door.



Sunday, 30 December 2012

Depression and suicide remove the taboo

Im writing this blog because im hearing more and more stories from people in my community commiting suicide. I have been there myself and feel that there is not enough still being done to create awareness. In this blog i look at both sides how suicide leaves the devastation behind and also to stay objective i try to look at it from a person who suffers from mental health issues and the realty of how low a suicidal person is. The point of this blog is not to be for one side or another to to give an objective view and to develop awareness and to remove this taboo over suicide because if its not talked about openly on honestly then how can other people have confidence to get help. At the end of the day it is to encourage any person feeling depressed suicidal or suffering from other mental health disorders to seek help. Never feel shame.

Lately in my country suicide has being a big issue. In the past decade 2001 – 2010 there was 4905 suicides in the republic of Ireland according to the National Suicide Research Foundation. Out of this 4905 cases 3925 where male and 980 where female. These figures are shocking and it does show that it is affecting men more than woman but on the same hand that has being increase of women doing so that is also worrying. The government in Ireland don’t much to support these helplines. They reley on fundraising and charitable donations and they do great work with limited resources. According the ISPCC Ireland there was 1212 calls/texts on Christmas day.

I know when i was suffering from my own depression the first worst thing i did was ignore it and it was just left in the back of my mind. I think i spent more effort trying to pretend i was fine. When it really got out of hand i was too afraid to ask for help for a few reasons:
  1. Because i lived alone with my son and not much family around me i was afraid to tell the doctor the whole truth about how i felt. What would the outcome have been if i said i was suicidal. My biggest fear was loosing my son. Which now i know was nonsense.
  2. Another thing was i wasn’t very well educated on what services where out there to help me. There is plenty of online resources and self help groups that i was afraid to go to. Suppose the depression and anxiety can have that effect on people but these groups do really pay off in the end.
  3. The fear of being judge. As open as i am in this blog in real life when talking about how you feel its harder and for me i found it hard to hear myself say it out loud, but when i did i felt like i achieved some thing.
I left myself that way for so long i truley that this had become my life for ever and had no future. I just felt like i cant go on like this. A low feeling i suppose low is putting it mildly, but in that frame of mind i felt it was the only real answer to end it all. Well thank god it didn’t go to plan and im still here three years later. While i did get help from friends and family which i appreciate soo much. One of the biggest issue i found while trying to recover was i lots all control of my life. The first weeks while i was getting help it was great and i needed to be watched. But as i started to feel better and what to start getting on with life again i was still under other peoples controlled. As a grown women i had no say im my own house. Its an important message that when you get help and start to feel that hope back and you want to get a bit of control back you need it and that when people need to be observant but allow that person to do.
Recently in my town there has being another suicide a mother with children. The first few comments i have heard about it was selfish why b hurting others. These are valid points but counterproductive comments at the same time. When these are the messages that we hear and most people have been brought up with that attitude its not helpful. When you feel suicidal and you hear people say these comments as true as they are, it just reinforces what a suicidal person thinks e.g. they are already thinking soo low of them selves that when you hear im a horrible person they get even lower. The message really is that a suicidal person is ill just like someone with a physical disease. The new message people should be spreading is thats a terrible illness and i hope any one feeling that way can talk.
If you got any thing from this blog i just hope its this:
  • Depression and suicide is an illness you are not a horrible person for feeling that way
  • The minute you think you are going to harm yourself say it get help immediately
  • Suicide is a permant solution for a temporary illness
  • More people care about you than you think
  • Always give yourself the chance because you deserve help
  • Never take someones control away from them


In this essay i will be disscussing how the media portray young people. I will look at how the media is powerful and is it good or bad? Is the media portraying young people as negative or is it just that we like to hear bad things and it sells? I will use a case study and look at the headlines from some of the most popular papers of today. Are we looking in the wrong places?
The media is very important to keep people aware of serious issues like the news, current affairs. New media is important because it lets ordinary people have a say with blogs, facebook, twitter. All types of media are important but can they be abused? The media has massive power over how people view the world around them and, often influences our decisions (.i.e the war on terrorism). Hitler's propaghanda was spread through various forms of media. When jewish owned media was forced to close the jewish communities of that time were marginalised and became less knowledgable about what was going to happen next. New media is equally as dangerous. Anyone can have a blog and post opnions on the web. With Facebook and Twitter can have real power but often it is used as a popularity contest with who has the most friends. Likewise with young people it shapes our view of them. Is it negative or are we ignoring the positives? What happens if you type into google positive stories about young people?
Chapter one
Lazy lager louts, pill popping, happy slapping vandals! Is this how young people are viewed. When you look at papers or watch T.V programs from holidays young people are painted in a very bad light. While some young people do behave this way not all young people do. This is usually the way the media portrays young people. They use big catchy headlines to catch your attentin when its a negative news story. Often they don't print good news stories. In England last year the pass rate for the GCSE's was above average and the headlines were saying that the GCSE's had got easier, instead of giving credit to the students who passed it. They always report how many students go out to celebrate and if any trouble is caused but never on how good they do.
Young people can't be blamed for under age drinking when drinking is glamorised to them from various forms of media. On Facebook you have advertisements on your page from Bicardi and Smirnoff, showing cocktails and young people drinking them. In magazines you have pictures of drinks in bright colours which are aimed at young people. I remember the Sugar magazine that people my age bought years ago and in this magazine drinking having sex was glamorised and it actually gave you tips on how to have sex. This was a magazine for young people aged between 13 and 18 years. All these things together do have an impact on young people and alcohol advertisements are done in subtile way that does get into young peoples heads. The truth of teenage drinking is a nagan bottle of vodka mixed into a fizzy drink bottle. If this image was shown it would be less encouraging.

“Alcohol advertisements promote underage drinking by targeting youth with things like entertaining commercials, interesting slogans or modeling that the behavior of drinking is “cool,” and should be stopped or advertised very differently.”

Whats not advertised is the long term affects that alcohol has on the brain. Alcohol is a depressant and with long term use it can make you depressed. Mental health is an important issue espcially with young people. You only have to look around the town you live in and you see how many young people have committed suicide or even attempted it. These magazines don't have these issues in them or if they do there often small articles which are boring looking or there beside other fun articles that you take more notice of.

“Alcohol can activate a gene that has been linked to depression and other mental issues. The result of this activation can cause not only depression, but in extreme cases seizures, and manic depressive episodes.” (

How teen magazines contributed to todays young society

Teen magazines from the 90's had so much power over the young population at that time which was dangerous in its own way. We would read magazines like Seventeen or Sugar and even if we didn't like them there was a section for every one. The front cover on these magazines would be very similiar to Cosmopolitan, which was for an older age group. Often in big catchy leeters on the cover “ How hot are you?” or “Dating does and don'ts”. These articles really got into young peoples heads and actually caused more fear and panic in young people by giving them all the wrong typpes of advise. There was always an article about sex and how to pleasure your boyfriend, when it should have really been about how to stand up for yourself when this issue came up. The enphasis was always about how the girl pleasures the boy so they feel good but not about the girls rights and how to deal with the peer presure around this topic. I know from growing up around this time most of my class mates now in the early 20s are all mothers like myself and these magazines did influence us at the time. However im not saying that they are to blame for us being young parents, but could have influence us.
These magazine focus was profit when it should be empowering young people there aimed for. Most of these articles had a negative effect on teenagers because teenage minds are vunerable because they are yet to experience these issue. They look for articles that will re-enforce what they already believe to be true not what actually is true. Having articles on how to perform in the bedroom has a very negative effect. I know from one of my friends when we where 14 she read an article on sex and did it with her boyfriend but then she found out she was just been used and was dumped after it. After this she had a very low opinion of herself that carried on in each relationship until she was about 20. These magazine promote bad self esteem. They calm to promote confidence in young girls when really they give them the wrong advise and it takes there self confidence away.
They promote the stereotypical views of teenagers and the call it the “teenage dream”. A catch phrase that enalienates young people for not doing these things and thats where the danger is. It contirutes to these feelings where im not normal because im not drinking or having sex.
Your community
Often young people are seen as the people to blame when some thing goes wrong i.e vandalism in the park, grafitti and knife crime. If you like hoodies your up to some thing. What people don't understand is that hoodies is part of the fashion. Most jumpers have hoods on them because its just the way there made. If its cold outside you were your hood up its just to keep your head warm not because your going to rob the old woman at the end of the street. The articles in papers often refer to young people as hoodies. They were them to hide there face well ifs that true then they could were a balaclava because that actually does hide your face. While alot of young people who do commit crime would where a hoodie it doesn't mean that all young people wearing them are about to commit a crime. They are a fashion state at best. Its the media that have made hoodies look bad.

“I think the bad reputation of hoodies is probably more perception than reality in most cases. Most young people are law-abiding people. I think the issue around people who wear hooded tops is that they have got their faces hidden, so there's a perception amongst people that not only is their face hidden, but they're hiding something else, too. There's another reason behind the fact that their face is hidden to some extent. This behaviour by hoodies then generates a perception or fear of crime.”
Is the media good or bad?
We need the various forms of media that we have available to us. The media is both good and bad. The media can be used to tell us important issues that have happened i.e the earthquake in Japan, but it can be used to transmitt propaghanda aslo i.e Hitler closing down Jewish owned newspapers so he could spread propaghanda and full the hatred against them. Different types of newspapers report different types of stories. Tabloids print untruths and use catchy headlines that stick in your head. Broadsheets are more factual and don't use glossly headlines to grab our attention but they still portray young people in a negative way. We know that tabloids lie and when Stephen Gately died last year this was a proven fact. So if we know they lie about people why do we believe them when they report untruths about young people.

Are we looking in the wrong places ?

Are we just looking in the wrong places. We already know that tabloids exaggerate the truth so why do we read them and believe them for ? There is as many positive stories about young people. Free community magazines that get delivered to your door would normally have a community bullent board highlighting events that come up and youth groups are in this section.

Foroige did a survey to see how people taught young people were treated by the media.

“Limited Desire to Go Back in Time A new survey examining attitudes to young people reveals that young people are generally perceived positively by society, but are treated unfairly or harshly by the media. Almost seven out of 10 people (66%) polled say that they view young people in a positive light. However, when it comes to the representation of young people by the media, a similar two in three (68%) strongly agree the media feeds on negative stories, as negative news gets more attention. Half say that media reporting is often unbalanced and selective and fails to report good news stories about the youth of today. On the other hand, over a quarter (28%) do feel that young people deserve negative reporting as they need to “learn a lot of lessons”. People over 65 are more inclined to think this way”.


“Limited Desire to Go Back in Time A new survey examining attitudes to young people reveals that young people are generally perceived positively by society, but are treated unfairly or harshly by the media. Almost seven out of 10 people (66%) polled say that they view young people in a positive light. However, when it comes to the representation of young people by the media, a similar two in three (68%) strongly agree the media feeds on negative stories, as negative news gets more attention. Half say that media reporting is often unbalanced and selective and fails to report good news stories about the youth of today. On the other hand, over a quarter (28%) do feel that young people deserve negative reporting as they need to “learn a lot of lessons”. People over 65 are more inclined to think this way”( (

“The survey shows parents come in for criticism when it comes to young people having troubled lives. 64% of people agree that young people wouldn’t get into trouble in the first place if they “had proper parental supervision”. Of those young people who do get into trouble the dominant perception is that these children do not have adequate supports, or positive experience, in their lives. The majority (82%) believe this is the case”(


Foroige have award ceremonies for young people “Permant tsb Foroige Youth Citizenship Awards”. These are posted up on their website They have publications that can be downloaded for free. Most people won't ever see these kind of articles because there not advertised. I only heard of Foroige when i started college.

“The ‘permanent tsb Foróige Youth Citizenship Awards’. The awards recognise the positive contributions young people make to society” (

However if news reporters wanted to print positive news they could easily find plenty to report about.
All the stories in todays Daily Mail are negative stories about young people. These stories are re-enforcing the general public's attitude i.e anti-social behaviour, violence, murder, drugs, claiming benefits, thieves. It is hard to get an unbiased opinion by reading the newspapers. These news story still have to be published but they could try and balance it out. These were the main stories, easy to find and had pictures on the links. You could miss them if you were scrolling down the page. There was no positive stories on young people.
This has a negative effect on communities. Old people fear young people and young people feel alienated.
We are looking in the wrong places for positive and accurate stories. If you type into google “do media report positive news about young people” you see that the general sites agree and sympathise with young people. It shows that most people under the age of 65 actually feel that young people are seen in a negative way. There is also links to newspaper articles and to blogs that are positive.
This is a blog written by Gemme Alliston, 21
“Young people are tomorrow's leaders, offering fresh perspectives and energy as well as the willingness to learn. Yet the media often treat youth only as fodder for their next story, shoplifting or graffiti. Frequently, young people are misrepresented in media stories or are absent altogether. Therefore, stereotypes of young people being trouble makers who have little value to society are perpetuated, creating distance between youth and other groups in the community. However, the media have the ability to report positively on young people, celebrating their achievements and goals whilst still meeting their key aim of reporting accurately and fairly”.

Is the media good or bad ? I think it has the power to be both but its more profitable if they print negative stories. People respond to them. If the newspapers were filled with articles on teenagers winning awards then they wouldn't sell. Although they do seem to be too negative. I think they should have the balance right.

Reference List:
Azteen magazine article
Videojug video link
Effects of alcohol blog
Daily Mail, article by andrew Levy



The Monster

There is a house,
So quite and undisturbed,
Nothing ever happens there,
People are never heard,
What goes on in that house,
I have to go and see,
I waited till the dark,
So I could slip in you see.
The hallway was so dark,
No light there was to be,
I sneaked up the hallway,
To feed my curiosity.
What happened next,
To my surprise,
An angel in disguise,
Somber words it did spoke,
My fear it did involk.
“Finally you came to me,
Do you know what I can be,
Deep down inside of thee,
Who am I am to be”
What silly words,
I do not know,
Im stuck still,
I want to go.
Its menacing smile,
And for a while,
I could not help,
To go limp in the isle.
Its piercing eyes,
And evil demise,
Whats this you say,
What are these lies.
“Finally you came to me,
Do you know what I can be,
Deep down inside of thee,
Who am I am to be”
Stop these words,
And speak clear to me,
Who are you,
Who can I see.
“Finally you came to me,
Do you know what I can be,
Deep down inside of thee,
Who am I am to be”
Such scary words,
It can only be,
No its not,
Its not me.
You are no angel,
For now I can see,
Who are you,
Are you me ?
I make my way to leave,
No one could conceive,
That this entity,
Could have known me.
Before I go,
I need to know,
Who are you to me.
“Finally you came to me,
Do you know what I can be,
Deep down inside of thee,
Who am I am to be”
I looked at he,
And laughed with glee,
A sinister feel within me,
Who are you to be ?
You are to be,
The one who seeks,
The bleakness,
In our lives.
He looked at me,
And I could see,
The evil in his eyes.
Memoir to Anne

I still have your letters,
I keep them with me all the time,
When i feel upset for you i read them for a time.
They always make me laugh and cheer me up when i feel down. I know its not your voice i hear but your words mean more than sound.
I miss you when you died,
When the phone calls stopped it really was the end,
But ill always have our memories,
The best way to remember my friend.
Your final years where not so nice,
And no should pay the price,
A cruel disease of the mind,
Physical body completely fine.
That now i know you where let in the gate,
Because you always had strong faith,
In a land of peace you thruly deserve,
No greater woman with the life you curved.
Your loving granddaughter
The Candle

As i went to bed that night,
My prayers i said by candle light,
Rosary beads i clung too tight,
As the shadows creped behind my bead,
An awful fright i felt  that dread.

Figures glowing here and there,
Bowed my head i did in prayer,
Please Jesus can you hear me are you there,
Please i am in such despair.

With the dreams that followed,
Nothing can compare,
To the torture that soon was indure,
For the shadows where there and let a demonic howl,
You will be ours they said with a growl.

As i went to bed that night,
My prayers i said by candle light,
Rosary beads i clung to tight,
Please Jesus can you hear me are you there,
Please i am in such despair.

A blinding a light and a gush of wind,
But not a bit of fear to fight,
The shadows screeched with such a fright,
No more i fear from no candle light.

Saturday, 6 August 2011

The Mirror

When i look into the mirror,
I dnt like what i see,
A grumpy unhappy woman,
Staring back at me.

When i look into the mirror,
I see a face full of lines,
Each line has a story,
But not a happy one to read.

When i look into the mirror,
I say ugh thats not me,
Why cant i be a supermodel,
Or a perfect page 3.

Don’t look in the mirror,
There lies is all you see,
You dont need to be perfect,
You are as beautiful as can be.